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Author Previous Topic: Bill Gills Sculptamold Article Topic Next Topic: Wednesday morning lounge
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Premium Member

Posted - 05/15/2013 :  11:24:34 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Too good not to share!!

-----Blonde MEN-----

A friend told a blonde man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blonde man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you &
your wife are having sex.
The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me".
The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".
A blonde man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No", he shouts, "this is her husband!"
A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another,
then another. A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.
His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy!" he replies.
A blonde man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
"It should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe".
(This one actually makes sense...lol)
An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

Look out for #1, but don't step in #2!

Andy Keeney
Dewitt, MI

Country: USA | Posts: 6117 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 05/19/2013 :  11:48:33 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Dog wants a kitty: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NBbHRaNNBuY

Country: USA | Posts: 24061 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 05/21/2013 :  9:20:54 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Sadly, hardly anyone here will watch this.

My Last Days: Meet Zach Sobiech - http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9NjKgV65fpo

Country: USA | Posts: 24061 Go to Top of Page


Posted - 05/22/2013 :  08:04:08 AM  Show Profile  Send snarlman an AOL message  Reply with Quote
(some things to think about)

1- I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

2- There are two kinds of pedestrians . . . The quick and the dead.

3- Life is sexually transmitted.

4- Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

5- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

6- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

7- Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

8- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

10- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

11- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

12- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'? Hmmmmm, How about eggs ? . . .

13- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

14- Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

16- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

17- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

18- Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

19- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

20- Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?


Country: USA | Posts: 1446 Go to Top of Page


Posted - 05/22/2013 :  2:49:00 PM  Show Profile  Visit railphotog's Homepage  Reply with Quote
And you think you're having a bad day!

Country: Canada | Posts: 4027 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 05/23/2013 :  6:54:10 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
George Carlin - fart jokes - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCtiQTQQ7QA

Country: USA | Posts: 24061 Go to Top of Page


Posted - 05/23/2013 :  9:05:20 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Rick

Sadly, hardly anyone here will watch this.

My Last Days: Meet Zach Sobiech - http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9NjKgV65fpo

I watched it Rick, and wow what an amazing story and incredible human Zach is!

Greg Shinnie

Country: Canada | Posts: 8848 Go to Top of Page

Engine Wiper

Posted - 05/24/2013 :  09:49:40 AM  Show Profile  Visit HobbyDr's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Thanks for posting Zach's story, Rick. Hard not to cry watching it. Sadly, he lost his battle yesterday, but what a magnificent, inspiring fight he waged.


Visit HobbyDr's Workbench http://hobbydr.blogspot.com/

Country: USA | Posts: 259 Go to Top of Page

LNER Railway
New Hire

Posted - 05/24/2013 :  11:27:05 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Here’s the children’s slide for Paperclip Park, rather more complicated than its predecessors and doubly fiddlesome. Not that it’s any more difficult to make – just requires a little precision and attention to detail. And all you need is a few paperclips and a little chilled food packaging so you can have as many failures as you like! If you tinkered away at the swings and roundabout, you have to have a crack at this one.

1) You make the main structure in two sections, TOP and BOTTOM. You’ll make the sides first, then join them with cross-members, a base and a top platform. Bend two paperclips to form the TWO sections which make up ONE side of the structure (FIG 1). It’s quite important (but not essential) to work on one of those self healing cutting mats with squared marking guides (FIG 2). This enables you to get your right angles spot on – important for this one – and they make a superb cutting surface. Only a few pounds new on eBay and you’ll get a lot of use out of it.

2) Make up another two identical sections, TOP and BOTTOM, for the other side of the structure. Your paperclips must be identical – there are variations even in clips of the same size. For OO scale mine were 3 cm, top to bottom. Lay them one on top of the other to check that they’re identical – and make sure the right angles square up (FIG 3).

3) To make the first side, lay a bottom section OVER a top section exactly as pictured in the photo (FIG 4). The arrows represent the gluing points. Practice positioning several times before gluing. I mixed up a tiny amount of two tube epoxy glue. You could use superglue, but epoxy sets like rock. I used both – but always reinforced the joints by touching in some superglue around them after they had hardened. Alex wrote in to the site with a useful tip. Superglue need to be starved of oxygen to bond – so spray the added glue with a mist of water – or dunk the model! Haven’t tried it yet. Scratch all surfaces to be glued with a craft knife and apply glue to both top and bottom sections.

4) To make the second side, TURN OVER the top and bottom sections. You now have a reverse image (FIG 5 – with glued sections in a clamp). But again – lay the bottom section OVER the top section and glue. Leave overnight to harden.

5) To join the two sides, first cut out a top platform and a base from the free chilled food packaging that I often use (from this point on I shall call it ‘FP’). Also four joining cross members from paperclips (FIG 6). All of these should be around .75 cm wide.

Length of the base – 9 cm. Length of the top platform – 1.5 cm.

I used that clever two-tube epoxy which gives you additional time before beginning to set. Bit slippery when first applied, but you can gently move pieces around if they fall off the vertical – for quite a while. Glue the side sections along the base first. Support them either side with matchboxes or suchlike. Then add the top platform. Then drop in the metal cross members.

6) To make the chute (the slide itself) cut a strip of FP. It’s flexible, bends and holds creases. But if you choose a curved piece, you virtually have the slide without the need to bend it (FIGs 7 and 8). It must slot between the supports on the downward slope so it needs to be around .75 cm wide.

– You need a bend at the foot of slide. To achieve this, mark off 6cm from the top platform to the bend and cut two TINY nicks at the mark on both sides of the chute. These will promote the bend.

- Boil an electric kettle and allow it to go off the boil. Grip the chute between the fingers of both hands, either side of the proposed bend. For ONE SECOND ONLY (perhaps less) pass the chute through steam while bending it a little AFTER THE KETTLE HAS BOILED (FIG 9).

DO NOT HOLD IT OVER A BOILING KETTLE. IT WILL SCALD YOU AND IT IS NOT NECESSARY. The material will wilt and melt if you do so and and you will be burned. The slightest increase in heat will accomplish the task – and it will bend at the point where you made your nicks. Cut the chute 1 cm AFTER the bend at the foot of the chute.

6) You need a pair of handrails at the top platform. Measure up and cut from two bent sections of paperclip. The rail should be around .5 cm high (FIG 10). Glue in place.

7) To make the support for the horizontal END of the chute, cut a piece of FP – 2.25 cm x 1 cm. Shape it (as in FIG 11). Score lightly along the bends with a craft knife to achieve sharp right angles. Glue to the base and to the sides of the chute.

8) To make the ladder, first cut, bend and shape two sections of paperclip (FIG 12). Can’t give precise measurements because of the bend – just bear in mind that the ladder must incline at a comfortable angle, the bottom section must extend over the base and the top of it should slot in beneath the top platform. A little trial and error, snipping and fitting to the model will get the correct shape. When you’ve made one, make an identical copy. Check by laying one over the other.

- The ladder slots between the uprights. It passes through them at the top to meet the top platform. Measure the distance between the uprights on your main structure. This will be the width of your ladder. Lay your ladder sides inverted on a squared craft mat if you have one (FIG 13) – make sure they are perfectly parallel if you don’t. Secure them at each end with plasticine or bluetack.

- Snip off plenty of ladder rungs from paperclips. Length? The width of your ladder. Make more than you need. They get everywhere.

- Glueing was a problem – had lots of failures. In the end I used superglue and dropped the rungs in one by one – to make a TEMPORARY fix (see photo). Once dry I removed the ladder carefully from the plasticine and touched in the joints with superglue to strengthen, handling carefully because the first application is fragile. Gave the joints a third application. Try Alex’s tip – or read the discussion in the comments on glue sent in after my SWINGS article. Distance between rungs? Half the distance between knee and foot (on an OO gauge chappie). If you’re good with a mini soldering iron (which I’m not), this model would be a doddle (which rhymes).

(9) Glue the ladder into the main structure (FIG 14).

(10) Allow plenty of time for everything to set then gently scrape off any excess glue with a knife blade. Paint to match your swings and roundabout (FIG 15). Add children if you like. I think they make the model. Notice that the two boys in blue and green jumpers on one of the slides are in fact the same model! By thinking carefully before positioning your little people you can make them do things. The two boys at the foot of the slide appear to be preparing for a punch-up. And two identical model characters, cleverly placed can look completely different. The little girl in the yellow dress on the other slide should in fact be waving to her mum – but I glued her hand to the handrail! She is the same model as the two girls on the ROUNDABOUT in my last ‘how to’.

I made two slides so that could chuck away the least successful one – but in the end kept them both.

Don’t throw away failures and offcut paperclips because: -


Best wishes to everyone.


Country: United Kingdom | Posts: 8 Go to Top of Page

Ray Dunakin

Posted - 05/25/2013 :  8:18:15 PM  Show Profile  Visit Ray Dunakin's Homepage  Reply with Quote
FOR SALE: New cars, cheap!
Some shipping damage

Country: USA | Posts: 3327 Go to Top of Page


Posted - 05/28/2013 :  2:38:03 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children are enough.

Q: I’m 2 months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth

Q: My wife is 5 months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So, what’s your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes. Pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college

In a time like ours seemings and portents signify. Ours is a generation when dogs howl and the skin crawls on the skull with its beast's foreboding.

Country: USA | Posts: 2254 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 05/28/2013 :  5:11:32 PM  Show Profile  Visit jaynjay's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by railphotog

And you think you're having a bad day!

The first time that I saw this I thought that the little squirrel had his foot caught...


Country: USA | Posts: 5787 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 05/30/2013 :  4:01:06 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
New Yorkers behold breathtaking sunset - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2333113/New-Yorkers-behold-breathtaking-sunset-sun-falls-perfectly-Big-Apples-iconic-buildings-Manhattanhenge.html

Country: USA | Posts: 24061 Go to Top of Page

Tyson Rayles

Premium Member

Posted - 05/30/2013 :  6:10:23 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
In a way that's kinda sad that they live in a place that the sun has to get in perfect alignment between buildings so they can enjoy a simple sunset (or sunrise I guess) and that it seems to be so rare that when it does that it's such a big deal that people turn out by the bizzilions to get a pic.

Country: USA | Posts: 13307 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 05/30/2013 :  7:32:51 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Tyson Rayles

In a way that's kinda sad that they live in a place that the sun has to get in perfect alignment between buildings so they can enjoy a simple sunset (or sunrise I guess) and that it seems to be so rare that when it does that it's such a big deal that people turn out by the bizzilions to get a pic.


in Michigan

Country: USA | Posts: 7380 Go to Top of Page
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